It spells your name...

Missing you is a hobby now,
Every single day I solemnly vow,
Love for life will someday run dry,
I need you to give me and us a try...

Surround yourself with thoughts of me,
Summon myself into your fantasy,
Accept my love my heart my soul,
Reminisce the memories that time had stole...

Alas I have found my one true deity,
Zealous I am in obtaining her beauty,
A moment spent equals a shower of hope,
Leave all behind so that we both could elope...

I Miss You baby...


Bone
2 September 2010
2:34 am

Secrets..

Please baby I am so confused,
I am not happy and I am not amused,
You tell me stuff that only we know,
And then you make me feel ten feet below..

This is not fair and it does not feel right,
I want this to end without starting a fight,
I am man enough to know more if not all,
Trust me honey I am not going to fall..

But if you choose to suppress your thoughts,
I won't give a shit and I won't give a fuck,
Go ahead and keep your precious secrets,
I will stay away and keep my fucking distance..

Bone
20 July 2010
3.53 a.m.

Ten Times A Lot Equals You Mi Amo'..

Come on honey let's set things straight,
I can't get myself in if you won't open the gate,
Give me the passage thru so we could recreate,
Surrender to fate and become my soul mate..

You know I'd do anything to again taste your kiss,
Those sweet chew able lips that I owh so dearly miss,
Let's give love a try and together we reminisce,
Take me away and bring me out from this abyss..

Sure I can wait just a little bit longer,
Yes I will stay here and let it all linger,
Because I need you near to satisfy my hunger,
And baby you make me feel ten times stronger!

Roarr!

Bone
15 July 2010
7.15 p.m.

confessions to dispossession..

Umm its best that I write to u about how I feel rather than me saying it straight to ur face..it'll be less complicated and less embarrassing too..haha..so here it goes..babe..I like u..I like u a lot..and I'm sure that u notice..I'm sure that u know how I feel..we had a history..be it good or bad,it still is a history..but from my half,it was an experience that I will cherish till years to come..
I'm not begging..I'm not trying to trick u out into liking me or anything..this is just me being me..this is me being a coward coz I can't face u when it comes to elaborating more about how I feel..I'm very emotional about this somewhat pathetic too..and I takut I ternangis..haha!and this is me escaping rejection from face to face..I wrote something similar like this a few days back..the night when u said 'masa mula2 tada..macam biasa..tapi sekarang macam dah ada..sikit..'..lebih kurang la kan..but I didn't know how to end it..coz I myself wasn't sure about where I actually stand in ur current life..what's certain is that I still stand far off, way back then where He is..and I don't blame u, or him for that..coz I know how it feels to really luv someone..and its both good and twisted that u have that quality..good meaning that ure loyal and passionate..but twisted coz it lowers my chances in getting u to like me..haha..that's normal..I know..I'm not a little boy anymore..I can pretty much control my feelings..well,most of it.. :P
I've been receiving some mixed up signals and feelings for the past one or two weeks..some times I feel like I bore u..some times I feel like u miss me and u want me there..or it just could be that I'm the most convenient at that time for u..but I just can't stand it..I luv having you around..near me..I luv spending time with u..ure funny..ure cute..ure pretty..and most of all ure honest..sure, all of us have secrets but I would luv to keep the fact that u are what u are..u make me happy..and I luv me when I'm happy..hehe..
So here's the ending..the ending of my karangan..not us tau..haha..I don't wanna waste my time chasing a phantom..don't get me wrong..I luv chasing u..I luv doing things for u..with u..but ill always end up feeling a bit empty in my heart n soul when we say our goodbyes..it makes me want u more..so that u can fill the gap that's in me..u make me do things that I normally don't do..If u feel bad,please don't..be flattered that someone is head over heels for u..if u feel sad,please don't..be happy that I have the urge to have u near me and protect u..
Being friends would suffice..I don't mind..i won't fall that deep into the ground..I just don't wanna lose u like I did before..ahhh banyak lagi nak tulis tapi takut terlebih..sorry its long..but I need u..to know..I hope ure not dissapointed after reading this..I'm sorry..again..for messing up ur head..if I ever did or am..
Thank you for trusting me..and u can still always trust me after this..take care nyet..don't hate me!haha :( :)

14 july 2010
3.00 a.m.

Cepat lah you...

Sekarang you tahu apa I perlukan,
Now tell me apa you punya tindakan?
Mahu realisasikan you and me?
Or you just nak biarkan I macam ini?

Baik you cakap sebelum terlambat,
Explain dekat I selagi you sempat,
I boleh terimalah I bukan budak kecil,
Tidak semestinya usaha kita berhasil...

Sebab siang malam you yang I kenang,
Some say lautan api I sanggup berenang,
I bersedia to just leave it to destiny,
Tamatkan drama and fill my book of history...

Tergagap-gagap...grrrr...

Masa dulu you hilang lama,
Semuanya I punya angkara,
Tetapi sekarang you pulang semula,
Nampak macam tidak sengaja...

Bukan lah you jatuh cinta,
Maksud I you ada,
Mana-mana I pandang you ada,
Sedangkan hakikatnya you tiada...

Tapi apa yang boleh I buat?
I takut juga suatu hari nanti you meluat,
I tau diri I ini tidak cukup hebat,
You pun tahu hati I ini tidak cukup kuat...

Tapi you tahu kan kenapa I macam ni?
You tidak ingat semua benda yang terjadi?
Walaupun geseran antara cantuman ribuan tali,
Yes baby itu memang pertama kali...

Perasaan I ini masih boleh ditampung,
Tindakan drastik juga masih boleh dibendung,
Tapi takut dan tidak tahu siapa yang boleh tolong,
I tidak mahu nanti you pandang serong...

Paramour...

The sun shines bright behind great clouds of white,
It's blinding light alleviates the blight,
Such a suitable name that precedes its fame,
You're the goddess of flame that I wish I could tame...

You're the shimmering hope that skims through my dreams,
Held responsible of healing these torn static limbs,
I wish I could sleep the slumber of a giant,
Make slave of this illusion, boldly defiant...

But such powers are only entrusted to the Gods,
Mortals are impotent in controlling divines odd,
We abuse His trust but yearn for so much more,
But all this heart desires is you, my paramour...

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Rematch...

What happen to us O' sugar sweet candy?
Where's your luv that once drove me crazy?
You used to want, to talk, and miss,
But now you wont, you cant, you hiss!

Tell me how to make things as they were,
Guide me now because everything is a blur,
Show me the way into your everlasting grasp,
Give me a chance before I fall down and collapse...

So here I am praying for something to happen,
Make room for the heart because this soul is sadden,
Reaching for the stars and hoping for it to come true,
Because without His help there's nothing much that I can do...

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Yuck Fou!

What deeds of mine gave birth to this hatred?
Cant our hearts combine and make all of this sacred?
Give me your soul and end this sadness,
Restore my sanity and abolish this madness...

So long white light O' moon so pretty,
Farewell my queen my mythical deity,
Those hopes of glory I not now see,
I surrender to thee and for that i flee...

-the end-

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Pui ! Pui !

"so macam mana u?"
tak tahu...belum start apa apa lagi...

"are u ok ?"
if ok means acting like i am than yeah...im ok...

"dont worry...lets just pray and hope that all goes well..."
yeah...thank u...i feel better now...

"im here if u need anything..."
well umm...i need my expectations to come true...is that possible? pui ! pui !

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

wan tu jus !

Its not here,
Its not there,
But its clear,
And I dare...

wan tu jus !
wan tu jus !
wan tu jus !
aku nak *tunjuk tunjuk*...

k...jom...

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Risk It!

I am not in a hurry,
I just luv to move quickly.
I admit that I am getting weary,
But I am not quitting that easily...

I will never give in into defeat,
I will keep pushing hard and never retreat,
I will show the world and stop being discreet,
I will make everything appear obsolete...

so say it ! dont push it ! just say it ! and risk it !

Monday, 22 February 2010

.whatever makes u happy.

Whatever makes you happy,
Has always been my priority,
To see you giggle like a baby,
And to stop you from nagging like a nanny...

This sudden heap of joy,
Feels like something of new,
I'm like a boy who just got a toy,
And that my lady is why I luv you...

Friday, 19 February 2010

Maybe you're right...

I'm not good at this...
I used too...
But now I'm just not...
Forgive me for not being there when you needed someone...
Forgive me for not being able to console you in times of grief...
Forgive me for not being able to soothe you in times of distress...
Forgive me for not being able to cheer you up in times of sadness...
Forgive me for not being able to ease the pain of missing someone you luv...

Maybe you're right...

Monday, 15 February 2010

What if?

How?

You're there...and I'm here...
I'm not gifted...
I cant travel through time and space...

But what if I could? What if we could? What if...what if?

Erm,than that would be cheating I guess...
The longing...
The wanting...
They need time and distance to build up...

Let it be then...
Lets just plan things and hope for them to work out...
Because remember...
That in this world...
There are seven...
There are seven dragon balls altogether...

Apa apa pun boleh suruh dewa naga reset suma balik kan...

Pinochio !

Whenever I go 'I miss you!',
My nose didn't grew,
And whenever I say 'I want you',
Bear in mind that my feelings are true.

Untitled...?

This feeling...
This lingering desire...
The hands cannot stop this pleasuring pain...
The will is to weak to repel...

The wind carries your scent...
The rain bears the moments...
I lunged and allow myself to be doused...
But still I burn, I pine, I perish...


Hey Rosebud..,;)
What about you?
Where do you stand?
Are we in this together?

Because...
I don't want to play tennis with walls...
It's weird to only wear one shoe...
And a bicycle-built-for-two?
Come on, that's just pathetic...;P

I'll wait...
I still have the promises you gave me...
I'm sure you have a lot of mine too...
And I say we should keep them...
Ponder them and take action...

Because you and me belle, we make a pretty good team...=)

Friday, 8 January 2009

Putus...

Kemana kamu pergi?
Kenapa kamu lari?

Kamu kejam...tahu?
Tiada perasaan langsung!

Kamu ingat kamu siapa?
Kamu ingat kamu dari golongan bangsawan?

Hmm...
Aku tidak lagi hormat terhadap kamu...
Membazir sahaja selama ini...

Kamu ingat kamu bole lepas?
Kamu ingat kamu pandai melompat?

Kamu hancurkan hidup aku...
Wawasan aku tiada punya wawas lagi...
Cuma tinggal an sahaja...an apa kamu tanya?

Anjing...

Hai lah kecewa...
Kenapa aku terjumpa kamu?
Kenapa kamu setuju merapati aku?
Aku menyesal lah!!aku menyesal!!
Kamu tahu itu?

Aku mahu kamu tahu...
Aku mahu semua tahu...

Aku kurang bijak...
Aku lebih bodoh...

Kerana percaya kamu...
Kerana buat kamu percaya aku...

Kenapa kamu percaya aku?
Kenapa kamu tidak endahkan aku dahulu?

Hmm...
Setiap hari perasaan aku bergaduh...
Setiap hari aku gembira juga...

Hang sayang pertahankan pendirian...
Hang benci mahu bersendirian...

Sudah lah...
Nyah kamu dari fikiran aku...
Pergi kamu dari dunia aku...

Kamu ingat ya...
Semuanya berakhir disini...
Semuanya putus disini...

Aku bukan mahu belas kasihan...
Aku bukan mahu bekas orang...

Aku mahu permulaan baru...
Aku mahu hidup tanpa bayang kamu!!

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Aku sayang kasut ku...

kasut camper ku...sudah uzur engkaw ye...aku masih ingat lagi kali pertame aku melihat engkaw...aku jatuh cinte...akan tetapi,aku tidak mampu untuk memiliki engkaw...nilai engkaw masih 100%...aku memang tidak mampu...dalam diam...dalam hati...aku memasang niat dan berkate, "akan ku jadikan kaw milik ku...satu hari nanti..."...

bulan2 berlalu...mungkin bertahun...engkaw seperti memanggil2 aku...menggangu aku sewaktu lena dibuai angan mimpi...tanpa menghiraukan segala2 nya,aku pergi mencari engkaw...aku rindu melihat engkaw...menyentuh engkaw...the timing was right...bulan itu pesta jualan murah sedang beraksi...pada waktu itu,aku berkemampuan sedikit...galakan dan sokongan dari ibu bapa ku amat kuat...aku yakin...aku pasti boleh memiliki engkaw wahai kasut...thus,bermulelah perjalanan aku...

aku tahu engkaw mahukan aku as bad as aku mahukan engkaw...engkaw melemahkan pertahanan...membenarkan aku merapati engkaw dan menyentuh engkaw semula...lebih mesre daripade kali pertame...ajaib...perasaan

itu...sungguh rare...tidak akan ku lupai sampai hujung hayat...aku fikir,"ya,aku mampu untuk memiliki engkaw..."...

engkaw terime aku,tanpa memikirkan perasaan kasut2 lain...agak sellfish, tetapi aku tidak terlepas daripade perasaan itu...melihat kasut2 yang lain, aku menjadi sedih...takut...di dalam hati...aku sembunyi...setelah aku berjaya memiliki engkaw,aku berselindung...daripade kasut2 yang lain...cuak punye pasal, dan demi pengorbanan cinte...yang suci...di kala waktu itu lah kan...

----------------------------------------

telah jauh kita mengembara ya kasut...walau pun sudah banyak kali engkaw aku sarungkan, engkaw tetap kelihatan cantik...the good news was that kaw makin mengembang...seperti cukup makan...haha...untuk pengetahuan,kasut leather boleh mengembang mengikut bentuk kaki...huhu...aku sayang kan engkaw kasut...kaw telah banyak berkorban demi menjage aku...aku terharu...aku setia...cekal dengan cadangan dan dugaan luar...aku mahukan engkaw,dibawah tapak kaki aku...

bertahun sudah,namun,aku tetap mahu simpan engkaw...dibuang tidak sanggup...ditukar ape kan lagi? tuan jenis ape la yang tabah hati untuk membuang engkaw?menggantikan engkaw...bodoh...bahlol...otak di lutut...

aku sudah berjanji...dan aku pegang kepada janji itu...tidak akan engkaw aku tukarkan...engkaw ingat ya...janji aku ini...aku simpan engkaw...aku treasure engkaw...kasut ku...walaupun engkaw sudah busuk, aku tetap sayang kan engkaw...

Saturday, 13 September 2009

Owh...kaw sampah ye...

malam...sejuk...hujan...ka

til...selimut...peluk...
"aku tak mahu orang lain sudah...aku mahu engkaw...engkaw sahaja memahami diri aku...ini last...aku tak mahu cari yang lain..."
bibir bergetar...terharu?

"betul...?engkaw sumpah?"
gembira...kerana berjaya...

"iya...aku sampah..."
berlawan mata...

"jangan dimain mainkan sumpah...bahaya...tapi kaw yakin...betul kaw sumpah?"

"aku sampah...dengan sepenuh hati...aku sampah...engkaw sahaja aku mahu...mahu hidup sampai ke tua...mati juga bersama sama...dengan engkaw..."
hidung basah...touching?

mengesat air mata...
"aku pun same...aku mahu apa yang kaw mahukan juga...kerana aku fikir, aku tidak akan menjumpai kembar perangai seiras jikalau aku kehilangan engkaw..."
ditarik rapat...

"jangan sesekali tinggalkan aku...boleh kah?"

"tidak kekasih...tidak akan aku tinggalkan engkaw...engkaw ratu hati ku...bukan hati kalau tidak berperintahnye ratu..."
yakin...kejang badan...

"sekali lagi...aku sampah...aku sampah akan sayang engkaw sahaja..."
dikucup...



ahaha...just for laughs...

Saturday, 12 September 2009

memememememememories....

the sweet gestures...the poems...the writings...i use them as means to find what everyone is looking for...recognition...pleasu

re...self-esteem...n in short,luv and affection...wuts pathological about that?

when she left,she took everything away from me...well,not everything,but most of it...my confidence...my free time...spent thinking, how the fuck did we get here?wut can i do to change this?but wut i didnt realize was that,the darkness was in it all along...and when i say 'it',i meant the heart...yeah...all along...fuck u darkness...fuck u...

i blame my self...but that doesnt mean shes innocent...people change like lightning...like thunder!!and thunder struck me right in my face...n the balls too...yeap...DIYing aint the same anymore...

i dont know when will i totally stop...all i can think of now,is not to think of her...im just a memory of her past...

memories stay forever...memories are eternal...memories is wut makes it strong...but through my experience,memories do fade...memories...they do bad things to ur brain when ure alone...but thanks to my awesome collection of movie/series,i got by...harmed,but still sane...

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

What once was one...

i trusted u...
i thought u luvd me...
u promised...
u swore...
until one of us fell for the eternal sleep...

i gave 100%...
i left everything behind...
u lied...
u gave hope...
until i felt it first hand...

the sight of u kills me..
the sound of ur voice kills me...
so would u kill me??
at least my death wont be that gruesome...
i prefer u end my life rather than someone else...

u still have the 'key'?
our 'key'?
despite everything ive said and done...
despite every word i took and gave...
ill still wait...
i wont lock the slides...
i wont lock the bedroom door...
ill just wait...

u wanna know why?
ure my 'hopegiver'....
ure me in a gurls body...

so would u come?
keep me company like u used to...
pour everything out like tea from a pot...

i know things are different now...
for u especially...
i saw the smiles...
the red cheeks...
the face of satisfaction...
yeah i did...
and u know how my brain works right...
i imagined every position manageable...
thats just me...
negativity likes me...

but tell me...
is all of this true?
do u really want me to dissapear from ur life?
wut about the good times baby?
why throw everything away?
weve been thru worst situations havent we?

i am wut i am today because of u...
u will always be a part of me...
i know im suppose to dispose any feelings that i have left of u...
but i dont want to...
i refuse to...
yes it hurts...
but im human...
i guess thats just the way things work...
luv is twisted...

to hate...
it is easier to hate then to forgive...
still each day i pray...
for some miracle to come my way...

i am ur number one...
right?
ill always be ur number one...
and no number beats number one...

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

This is a soul...

this is a soul...
a soul who was once a strong soul...
who luvd every other soul as much as they deserve...
who was always fascinated at how different types of souls could be...
who easily trusts n believes wutever another soul whispers to it...
some say that this type of soul is weak...
strong on several parts,but weak in many...

this is a weak soul...
and in this cruel world,weak souls perish...
they get picked by...
they are just a joke...
something to laugh about...
easily played...
easily forgotten...

this is a forgotten weak soul...
half parts thankful,and the other part full with hatred...
despises...wants to murder...
but knows better not to...
rather talks to himself...
this soul is losing it...
this soul is going crazy...

this is a crazy forgotten weak soul...
who just realized something from all this craziness...
that it is sweet and caring...
that it is romantic and luving...
who is not gonna change one bit of itself...
who understands that this is a good loss...
this soul wants to move on now...

this is a crazy forgotten weak soul who wants to move on...
this soul is gonna do what it does best...
it is going to take the 'luvliness' of other souls...
just like bees and nectar...
brings it back to the hive, which is the heart...
keeps it...processes it...treasures it...
stores it for the future...

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Susah siki, senang banyak...

orang pegang,orang riang,orang miang...
kulit kedut,semua layut,baru takut...
kena sekali,tak boleh lari,mintak lagi...
lain tak nak,semua lari,baru cari...
siang hari,malam hari,kena gari...
markah tinggi,orang puji,suka hati...
datang lagi,kena puji,lupa diri...
ramah sana,ramah sini,mana hati?
susah sama,senang sama,ingat lagi?
janji manis,peluk nangis,sekarang bengis?
masuk pekan,bukan-bukan,salah setan?
pujuk rayu,peluk bahu,balik mengadu...
10 tahun,20 tahun,makin rabun...
mintak maaf,mintak ampun,tak guna pun...
kepala pusing,hati runsing,tumbuk dinding...
jaga diri,harga diri,jangan bagi...
hilang lagi,banyak kali,orang geli...
boleh ubat,boleh sembuh,buang ego...
main sayang,main cinta,sedap kena...
main dendam,main berontak,kesiannya...
bukan caci,bukan maki,jauh sekali...
baca lagi,jujur hati,buang benci...
jangan balas,jadi malas,bagi selaras...
tegak bengkok,lap basah,buang sampah...


Wednesday, 29 July 2009

What i think about L...

Find a guy who calls u beautiful,instead of hot...who calls u back when u hang up on him...who will lie under the stars and listen to ur heartbeat...or will stay awake just to watch u sleep...wait for the boy who kisses ur forehead...who wants to show u off to the world when u are in sweats...who holds ur hand in front of his friends...who thinks ure just as pretty without makeup on...One who is constantly reminding u of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have U...and how much he luvs u not only for the physical appearance,but also for the luvly behaviour that u possess...The one who not only turns to his friends but to everyone else too and says, "thats her...thats my gurl..."

erm...Luv...such short word...easy to spell...difficult to define...and impossible to live without...there are few people who are not ashamed of their luv affairs when the infatuation is over...The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual luv between two people...the ones who are weak will run...the ones who doesnt believe in such a thing will surrender...Luv cures people,both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it...Luv is also bittersweet,but its up to the ones in luv to make it bitter or sweet...Luv is suppose to be forever...eternal...its suppose to mean as we continue to change with age,there is one thing that will never change..that both lovers will always keep falling in love with each other...Luv is as much of an object as it is an obsession...everybody wants it,everybody seeks for it,but few ever achieve it...but those who do will cherish it,be lost in it...Luv is never wanting to lose faith...never wanting to give up...and never truly moving on...luv is knowing and praying in the deepest part of whats left of your heart that they feel the same way too...u can also say that luv is two minds but with a single thought...two hearts that beat as one...two bodies in a single soul...Luv is an evil angel...luv leads to happiness...but it can also lead to murder...not ending ones life,but killing the plans...the promises...the vows...this is just me sharing,about what ive learned and think about luv...ill accept the criticisms...the mockeries...but i know,that deep down inside of each living soul reading this,agrees with me...dont be embarrassed...

u cant believe that this is how she feels,
u want to forget it by taking pills,
yes it hurts,it stabs and it kills,
but like i said,luv also heals...

eheh~

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

The One and Only...

My heart is still aching,
From memories that’s been playing,
In my head while I was dreaming,
I can’t stop it from streaming…

Sometimes I feel fine,
Although I was left behind,
I said we can still be refined,
My friends kept saying I’m blind…

But wut do they know,
Wuts inside me doesn’t show,
Wut i've been thru and wut I stand for,
That the half of me is no more…

We made plans to live with each other,
Start a family and have kids together,
Now all is changed some say for the better,
Those dreams are gone lost forever…

I accept and I understand,
I smile but I pretend,
I cry because I can’t comprehend,
I thought this bond had no end…

You wanted me but I craved for you,
I fought those pirates baby so we could go thru,
I devoted myself for something so true,
Always remember that no ONE else will ever luv you more than I do…

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Inside of You...

Old as Ancient Skies....
I've had these wondering eyes....
But you took me by surprise when you let me inside of you...

Inside of you...
Inside of you...
There's got to be some part of me Inside of you...

Inside of you, I could cross this desert plane...
Inside of you, I can hear you scream my name...
Inside of you, while the stars unfold...
I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world..
And I need you here and I need to be,
Inside of you...

Now the flowers bloom...
I feel you creep into my room...
And if this should be our tune...
I'll die here inside of you...

And the world explodes...
I've never been down this road...
Teach me how to glow...
While I'm moving Inside of you...

Inside of you, the restless find their dreams...
Inside of you, this king has found his queen...
Inside of you, all the stars unfold...
I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world...
And I need you here and I need to be,
Inside of you...

Inside of you,
Bay blue,
So say it's you,
To thoughts untrue,
Who I woo...?
It's you I woo...

Through and through,
And through and through...
There's so much more than just a screw,
Inside of you...

And I was blizzard blind...
Felt like I've lost me mind...
But you've treated me so kind...
I don't know what to do...

05 July 2009